The art is amazing! So cute!!! A couple things that could possibly be improved. First, the name Jane Jetson already belongs to a cartoon character. Not sure if that was accidental, but I'd recommend changing it. Second, the sound effects. They stuck out and seemed out of place in this game, not matching the art style at all. Three, I'd delete ALL dialogue tags. Connie asked, I replied, Mary chuckled, etc. We can already see who's talking. Let the dialogue convey the feelings. If there's any necessary exposition, just put it all outside of dialogue. Thanks for this cute little detective game!
I will definitely take your recommedations into account for any next visual novel. I'm hesitant to change this one because it was made for a month long jam and changing it afterwards feels a bit like cheating to me.
The name "Jane Jetson" wasn't meant as a reference to "The Jetsons" cartoon but as a thinly veiled reference to "John Watson" of the Sherlock Holmes stories (just like "Connie Doyle" is a reference to "Arthur Conan Doyle"). In hindsight I should have put some more effort into coming up with a surname that rhymes with "Watson" :)
I figured you were going for something like Watson because of the Connie Doyle name choice. I wasn't sure if anyone remembers The Jetsons. I had to dig around in my brain for a bit before I remembered it clearly, lol.
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The art is amazing! So cute!!!
A couple things that could possibly be improved. First, the name Jane Jetson already belongs to a cartoon character. Not sure if that was accidental, but I'd recommend changing it. Second, the sound effects. They stuck out and seemed out of place in this game, not matching the art style at all. Three, I'd delete ALL dialogue tags. Connie asked, I replied, Mary chuckled, etc. We can already see who's talking. Let the dialogue convey the feelings. If there's any necessary exposition, just put it all outside of dialogue.
Thanks for this cute little detective game!
Thank you for your kind review.
I will definitely take your recommedations into account for any next visual novel. I'm hesitant to change this one because it was made for a month long jam and changing it afterwards feels a bit like cheating to me.
The name "Jane Jetson" wasn't meant as a reference to "The Jetsons" cartoon but as a thinly veiled reference to "John Watson" of the Sherlock Holmes stories (just like "Connie Doyle" is a reference to "Arthur Conan Doyle"). In hindsight I should have put some more effort into coming up with a surname that rhymes with "Watson" :)
I figured you were going for something like Watson because of the Connie Doyle name choice. I wasn't sure if anyone remembers The Jetsons. I had to dig around in my brain for a bit before I remembered it clearly, lol.